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In the trailer for the special, there’s a short moment where some of the men are playing basketball with no shirts on. Nevertheless, it is sad to know there’s a lot of people in our world who can’t find their truth and live honest, open lives, although I doubt that’s the intention of TLC broadcasting this special (I mean, come on: These are the same people responsible for Honey Boo-Boo). When a person can’t even utter the words “gay” to describe someone else (i.e.–me), it’s not my issue: its his, just like the men and their wives on My Husband’s Not Gay.
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But then I realized that this had nothing to do with me. Did I say something to him that made him want to run back into hiding? It killed me. This bothered me a lot for a long time, not because I thought I was a “bad lay” (we both agreed it was some of the best sex we each had in our lives, and he was way too knowledgeable for this to have been his first tryst with a guy), but because of how emotionally scarred this individual was. A week later, he entered a relationship with a female. The next morning, he told me he had not felt that way about anyone in a long time and that he wanted to see me again. He couldn’t even say the word “gay” to describe myself, much less even call himself that. We met up for several rounds of drinks, which lead us down a rabbit hole to a very interesting and heated discussion about my own sexuality and his: Why was I so out and open? What exactly did it do for me? Keep in mind, when I point-blank asked him who or what he was attracted to (because, face it, after some bourbon, these things happen), he gave me a roundabout answer. I had always assumed he was gay, despite the fact that his Facebook tried to prove otherwise. I should know: I slept with one of them.Ībout two years ago, I met up with an old childhood friend who recently moved downtown. The bottom line is this: There are a lot of “straight” men who are physically attracted and who are having sex with other dudes. I mean, isn’t this the city where, a few months ago, a gay couple got the crap beat out of them? That doesn’t help. When we surround ourselves within a community that has, obviously, come a long way, we tend to forget that there’s a lot of stigma and a lot of hate. What doesn’t help us understand how emotionally traumatic it still is for many gay men to “come out” is how seemingly “open” and “easy” it is, even for youth, to burst through the closet. There are some of these dudes who are regulars, who aren’t just experimenting or questioning, but who are living a double life. What we are dealing with here is the same sort of thing when we turn on our Grindr or Scruff and are flooded with headless torsos of married men looking for a “NSA” encounter. As you see in the film clip above, the church seems to believe that the act of homosexuality is a sin: It’s hard for the cast members to even utter the word “gay.”Īnd, yes, there’s the obvious question about the varying degrees of sexuality in all humans: could these men be bisexual? Emotionally attracted to females but physically attracted to men? Yes, but that doesn’t seem like the case here. There’s a lot we need to demystify and unpack here in order to even begin to comprehend how one can live in such an elaborate alternative world: yes, the Mormon church surely has a lot to do with it.